I’m on the eve of my 19th birthday; seems somehow unbelievable to realize how fast it all happened and yet it’s stoking to see what lies ahead. This year would go down as undoubtedly the best year of my life so far; not because I got admitted to a rather good university, nor because of certain worldly things but mostly because I got to know myself and really became well acquainted with who I truly am.
As an eighteen year old, I went through a lot but I what I learned and gained that I’ll never forget, was a certain attitude towards life – that helped me take everything all in stride – which comprises a few internal principles, some hedonistic approaches, reformation of beliefs and the refinements of sketchy ideas about my future.
Developing a set of principles happened over time and in my opinion, was only effective when I actually felt the need to confine myself within some boundaries for my own good. The amazing thing was that as time passed by, me and the principles became one – probably because the principles were in conformity with my character – and I no longer sensed that I was abiding by certain rules but that I was just being myself, expressing my opinions and doing things they way I liked. It also gave me a sense of directedness; I knew what I wanted to do and how to do it.
I also felt the urge to lead a happier life and in the course of digesting this idea and attempting to attain a few milestones I learned that happiness is in the moment and then I read a wonderful quote from Albert Camus that curtly says it all: “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
Just like any other person who is interested in the unknown, I figured that I need to know what I truly believe in when it comes to God and religions and now after days deliberation, I finally know what I believe in. As with the afterlife, I do not know what happens after I die but there is one thing that I’m absolutely certain about; when I die the only thing that I leave behind in this world is my memories, so I intend to leave behind some reasons to be missed.
Now, I almost know who I am and who I want to be and the previously hazy image of my future is now much clearer thanks to the best year I’ve ever lived.