Last night I was sort of down and depressed. I was lying in my bed, looking at the ceiling and thinking about my life, particularly my life as a high school student. I didn’t really dig the high school atmosphere and I was constantly thinking about how wonderful my life is going be after I graduate but shockingly, despite everything I just said, I never thought I would miss high school in less than two years after my graduation. And then I asked myself, “Is it gonna happen again?”
I’m the kind of person who always tries to do his best to enjoy the moment and live without regrets and that’s my underlying mind set. Nevertheless, despite all my efforts to live without regret, just like any other human being, I too feel like I could have acted differently and lived a better and more satisfying life. The important thing that needs to be mentioned is that I can only understand this, say, shortcoming with my current knowledge and experience which is attained directly because of being under those previous circumstances. It’s somehow like a vicious circle, you experience something and then you realize what you did wrong, you learn from it and then you feel like it would have been really cool if you could go back in time and do something differently.
For instance last night, as I previously mentioned, I was thinking about how better, cooler and more awesome my life would have been if I had my current knowledge and understanding of life back when I was in high school. As a sophomore, I couldn’t to keep my life balanced because I had so many things that I needed to do on a regular basis ( 9 hours of school, 3 hours of Basketball and 2 hours of English every other day), I couldn’t get enough sleep and couldn’t take care of myself and felt constantly exhausted. As a junior, I didn’t study as well as I should have, was constantly deprived of sleep because of talking or texting my girlfriend for three hours straight every freaking night and generally didn’t have a productive year and also spent a lot of time being sad and depressed.
Now that I think about all those things that I did and the situations and opportunities that I had I feel like I missed out on something. I feel like I really should have spent more time on certain things, I should have been a better student, a better athlete, a better son and a better person. I should have been wiser, more tactful and much , much happier. Come to think of it, I actually had the potential for all those things. Most importantly I shouldn’t have spent even an hour being sad or depressed because now I feel like I utterly wasted those precious moments and they will never come back.
After realizing what I had gone through, I asked myself is this going to happen again? Am I going to think that I could have lived a much better life just two years from now? Am I going regret my actions once again? and then I started to feel… enlightened. I realized that obviously, two years from now, there are going to be some things that I feel I could have done differently but what matters is how I approached my life when I actually did those things. Did I feel happy? Did I enjoy what ever it was that I was doing? Did I do things according to my moral and life principles? These are going to be a few questions that I will undoubtedly ask myself in the near future and the main objective is to feel good and satisfied about the answers of these questions.
The lesson that it taught me was to live my life to the fullest, act in compliance with my principles, never waste time, never do the things that I don’t like and always, always look at my life, not from my own perspective but from the perspective of an old man looking back at his life. I learned that I should never be sad and depressed because I will regret frittering away my precious moments.I learned to treasure each and every second of my life and finally I learned that even though regret is inevitable it’s important to able to learn from it, move on and give life all you got just to make sure that you did everything you could have possibly done.
I suggest you listen to the song, Time from the movie Inception while you read this post. It makes it more memorable, more enlightening if you will.
I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time.